


“If only you could see yourself as I see you”

by Onehelluvapilot



Series: Tumblr prompt fics [6]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: M/M, Self-Doubt, Short, supportive Lancelot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:02:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26555554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Onehelluvapilot/pseuds/Onehelluvapilot
Relationships: Lancelot du Lac/Arthur Pendragon
Series: Tumblr prompt fics [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1922554
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15





	“If only you could see yourself as I see you”

“Lancelot, will I ever ever be a good king?” Arthur asked. The two men lay in bed after a long day; at court, when the king was hearing grievances and settling disputes between the people, he’d been attacked by a sorcerer disguised as a peasant. Lancelot had been thrown to the floor by a blast of magic, along with several of the other knights and guards, but had managed to keep from hitting his head. Despite only being bruised, he’d been unable to scramble to his feet in time to prevent one of the other guards from shooting a crossbow at her. He could have sworn it was about to miss, as the witch leapt forwards towards Arthur at the last moment, but it changed direction in midair and caught her under the ribs. She’d survived just long enough to curse the king’s name.

“You mustn’t blame yourself for what happened today,” Lancelot said. He knew what Arthur was thinking, since he was blaming himself too. He should have gotten up faster. Perhaps he could have apprehended the woman without killing her, and she could have faced a fair trial. Frowning, he decided that he would also be having a conversation with Merlin about his tendency to protect Arthur at all costs. It may seem a little hypocritical, coming from the king’s own boyfriend and bodyguard, but it needed to be said. Merlin had a bad habit of shielding his boss from danger, and in the process also shielding him from seeing injustices he needed to see, and sometimes even killing people that were more innocent than the king himself.

“That’s not what I meant,” Arthur said, shaking his head. “Or at least, that’s not entirely it. If that woman had gone to trial, I would still have had her put to death for attempted assassination. But she is the fourth this year who had attempted to have me killed in retaliation for the continued ban on magic. I don’t know how to hold this kingdom together when seemingly half of it would have me killed for it as surely as I would kill them.”

Lancelot rolled over from his back onto his side to look at Arthur, wincing slightly as the position put pressure on the bruise from where he’d landed on his hip earlier. “Sire,” he said, and Arthur huffed a breath against his forehead. The king had stopped correcting him about the honorific when they were alone, but he still usually let his displeasure with it be known somehow. By this point, Lance used it half the time to tease his lover, but now, it was to genuinely express respect. “You are doing your best,” he continued. “You have the love of the majority of your people. They trust you to do what is best for the kingdom.”

“But what if I don’t know what that is?” Arthur asked. He sounded almost petulant, as he often did in frustration. Merlin had once called it childishness, but Lancelot knew that they both could see it for the fear it truly was.

“You will find that out,” Lancelot reassured him. “The fact that you question it already shows you are a better king than your father.” He tilted his head up to kiss Arthur’s jaw gently, to take in his face with wide eyes. “If only you could see yourself as I see you,” he mused. “Until then, please, take my word for it. You will be a good king.”

Arthur sighed, and Lance realized the error of his words. He should have said that he was a good king already. “Thank you, Lancelot. For your honesty.” The blonde turned onto his back, so he was no longer facing the other man. “If you don’t mind, I think I would like to be alone awhile,” he said. “I have a lot to think about.”

“Alright,” Lancelot said, climbing from the king’s bed and beginning to get dressed. Before he left, he turned back to face him, though Arthur would not look up to meet his gaze. “I believe in you, sire, and the Camelot you will build.” He left before the king had the chance to claim that his faith in him was misplaced.


End file.
